As the parent of an autistic child one comes to accept, acknowledge, and expect the unexpected. Behavior that draws attention and quizzical expressions from curious onlookers barely Makes it onto our radar. In fact,we have a whole different perspective of "unusual". Ironically, most others wouldn't even recognize it.
This morning for example, I went up to prompt Mason to get ready for school and found him nicely dressed in jeans and a button shirt that he never wears, in fact he doesn't were button shirts given the choice. Of course, I happily complimented him on how nice he looked and expressed my pleasure that he tried something new. His response was to point to his closet and objected "But Dad! I'm all our of t-shirts" despite the the fact that there was a variety of long and short sleeved shirts hanging in plain view. It became apparent in the context of other observations over the past couple of weeks that, as Connie and I suspected, we were in familiar territory even if we hadn't been here for a few years
The thing about autism that only parents of autistic children get is that, like 80s music, nothing is ever gone for good. While Masons school team is finding themselves scratching their heads over curious behavior they thought he was passed, we recognize something we have come to refer to as The Reset.
After 3 years of hard fought consistent progress marked by a trail of bruises, batterings, destruction, and disruption Mason sits in class, does regular work, pays attention, and generally likes going to school... until the past couple of weeks. At first,we thought it was just a full moon/new moon thing. The usual hyperactivity reactivity sensitivity and other -ivities- basically autism on steroids- that lasts a a day or two stretched into a week and compounded with confusion and disorientation, loss of vocabulary and abilities, and decreased tolerance and impulse control. This culminated last week in a mild fever that instantly set off our alarm bells and was all but confirmed this morning.
For the first five years of his life Mason experienced fevers about twice a year in the spring and fall that would last about two weeks in which he would pretty much sleep and not eat. There was not much to do. He didn't even lose weight. One one level we secretly thanked God for the opportunity to watch him sleep, stroke his face, and just get a good look at him. After a couple of weeks the fever disappeared as quickly as it came and he was back to his ear to ear grinning, up all night, bouncing off the wall, self.
At first we didn't really notice any post hibernation changes. He didn't eat, sleep, or talk, just more or less moved from one stimulus to the next lying on the floor running cars in front of his face, watching videos, and trying to get his needs across. As time went on and he developed more skills we discovered that after the fever a lot of skills and abilities would disappear and new or old behaviors would appear in their place, so we go back to the successful strategies and start over. Within a month or two the mysteriously missing skills, language, what have you would return with friends- new language and skills that invariably left us looking at each other dumbstruck going "where did that come from". Of course not all the language and behavior was particularly desirable, but you take the good with bad and try to convert the bad as best you can, take solace in the fact that some acting out, defiance, and rebellion is just normal and celebrate that even if the expression of it isn't exactly. Eventually we came to anticipate them and when they stopped we waited, watched, looked for signs and looked at each curiously and shrugged when they didn't come.
Fast forward three years without a reset and suddenly at 9 the signs are back like the aliens returning. while the symptoms seem more subtle at the moment we definitely recognize them and unfortunately we are the only people currently in his life who ever experienced them. Now we have to educate everybody who thought they were just getting a handle on him about a whole new aspect of the enigma that is Mason.
Of course, we are more experienced and knowledgeable and have been down a road like this before and that's what our life is all about. This time we are heading into preadolescence -the warm up to puberty- and though we've been through it twice with our (psuedo) neurotypical kids -a very loose reference- It is, as always, a very different thing with Mason. He is bigger, stronger, and faster and much more aware of what's going on around him. He picks up things from other kids who are entering the same crazy stage of growth and uncertainty that he is. He of course is not like them. He is more sensitive to sensory stimulus and processes social information differently. Top that off with a genetic predisposition to extreme adolescent growth -Connie is 5'11' and her father is 6'8'- and we have a recipe for autism and puberty on steroids.
Buckle up. It could be a bumpy ride. But then, I have generally found that the bumpier the ride the more interesting the journey and the more rewarding the destination.
No comments:
Post a Comment