Even though Mason is only 9, I have been working with people with special needs including autism since 1989. In that time I've also accumulated a college diploma and a couple of degrees. Suffice to say I have met a wonderful array of wizards and whackadoodles. Not surprisingly some of the most amazing wizards have been people who barely graduated high school while some of the biggest whackadoodles have been the most credentialled. One of the most extreme cases was self anointed autism specialists back in the early 90s who had a ranch in southern Alberta and carried out practices that are illegal today and actually inspired the definitions of abuse and the provincial Protection for Persons in Care Act.Of course, that doesn't mean the axe doesn't swing the other way. For some reasons autism seems to attract more than its fair share. Perhaps it's the savant and mystic mythology around it. At any rate, the conversations and debates around autism have always covered subjects from nutrition to behavior to sleep to education and whatever you can think of. No topic, however, seems to raises more blood pressure than talking about what causes autism unless maybe what it is.
The nature of the debate would seem, on the surface, to be around genetics vs environment. On one side you have those who believe their children were born the way they are and different characteristics manifest at different stages of development or as is often the case they don't and the rising incidence of autism is largely a matter of increasingly effective diagnosis. On the other side there are the people who believe autism is caused by a toxic environment and the rise is a matter of an increasingly toxic environment and particularly man made chemicals like vaccines and preservatives.
I would suggest that the real crux of the argument is a matter of acceptance over hopelessness. If you are unwilling to accept that this is your child and this is who they are and who they are going be then you have to believe they are afflicted with a pathogen- a reversible error -presumably caused by some outside force you can hold accountable and it is your responsibility to do whatever is necessary to correct this tragedy.
Given this perspective there are really two choice- three if you include denial-
1. You can become an Autism Warrior. You can declare war, flog fringe theories about vaccines and toxins, march in parades, rant in rancour,rally support from celebrity pseudo experts,and vow to eradicate this demon scourge from the world. You can comb the world for magic treatments and experimental therapies no matter how invasive or uncomfortable and martyr your child to the cause (or convince others to if you don't have one of your own) in the hope of recovering the one you expected. You can flaunt your righteous indignation as passionate resolve and judge the rest of as ignorant or naive for not seeing the truth as you see it.
The other choice is to be an
2. Autism Champion. You can declare your unconditional love and acceptance of your child and encourage others to do the same. You can advocate and educate to increase awareness of unique human human beings rather than victims of a plague. You can seek out specialists and strategies and acquire knowledge and skills to give your child the best quality of life and the most opportunity to become the person they can be rather than try to make them into something you want or think they should be. You can celebrate the gift of learning you have been given and marvel at daily miracles that others take for granted rather than live in mourning for what you think you should have had. You can revel or you can rail.
You can choose. You can do whatever you like. You can carry your torch of martyrdom, shout from the rooftops, and call it a revolution. You can also expect resistance. You can expect me to be where you are advocating for acceptance. You can expect me to be the roadblock on your path of self sympathy and self validation because it isn't about you. And you can expect me to come out swinging when you imply or intimate that I'm the same as you and especially that my child is anything you think he is. He is not damaged, dysfunctional,or diseased. He is autistic. You can say and do whatever you like, but then so can I. I choose to be a champion, but if you bring your warrior cry to my door you can expect to find a warrior on the other side.
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